We Are Going to Get Through This
We are going through some difficult times. Besides my testing practice, I also offer talk therapy through Allina Health. For the last several years, starting before Covid and building and building ever since, clients have discussed concerns about where things are headed and the future for themselves, their children and families, friends, the country and even the world.
Clients from all different backgrounds have these concerns. It doesn’t matter the age, gender, political affiliations, ethnicity, etc. Everyone is concerned.
My work experience aligns with the findings of the 2025 World Happiness Report, published by the Wellbeing Research Centre at Oxford with help from Gallup and the U.N. Sustainable Development Solutions Network. According to the report, the US dropped to 24th place in 2025, the lowest performance the United States has had since the annual report was first created in 2011.
These are trying times. There are so many big problems it can seem overwhelming. Legacy and new media have figured out how to make headlines that terrify us in exchange for clicks. Online forums (and family dinners) can be full of conflict. We can feel powerless.
But we aren’t.
We are stronger than we realize.
Every day, we experience difficulties. And we get through them. Some days are really difficult, and some days are not so difficult. A day can rarely go by without problems to address.
You are tough enough to have gotten through everything life has thrown at you so far.
If you are a teenager or an adult, you have been around for a long time. You have lived through many, many, many problems. You have gotten past them. Maybe not as smoothly as you would like. And we may be scarred by the things that have happened to us.
Having scars does not mean you are a bad or flawed person.
It means you have survived difficult things.
Whatever is coming, what you have learned, you will apply to that, and you will make it through.
There are many people out there who preach that if someone lives a certain way or has a specific approach to dealing with things, things are going to be easier for this.
This is a lie.
We’d love it to be true, but it is a lie.
A More Enlightened Approach
Many years ago, one of my graduate school professors, Dr. Len Jennings, had a suggestion for my class. The University of Minnesota was hosting a round table with several different kinds of psychologists, and he recommended that we attend.
I recall the event having about seven or eight speakers plus a host. Each speaker was a psychologist with a different approach to psychology, such as a developmental psychologist, a cognitive behavioral psychologist, a psychoanalytic psychologist, etc. One speaker was a Buddhist psychologist.
I remember the presentation was about two hours long, and I loved it. The host asked interesting questions about how the different psychologists conceptualized and counseled clients on important issues, like coping with the death of a loved one, shame, trauma, etc. Most speakers had a lot to say, and most of what they said was very interesting. I noticed quickly that the Buddhist psychologist tended to say the least and did not try to interrupt the rest of the speakers.
Unlike each of the other speakers.
I remember getting a lot out of each speaker's points. I thought they had a lot of wisdom and insight, and I remember wanting to be as knowledgeable and capable as they were.
Near the end of the presentation, with maybe 15 minutes to go, the Buddhist psychologist was asked for his perspective on the discussion. He paused for a moment and turned to the rest of the guests then said something to the effect of,
“All of you make the same mistake. The way you talk, you present a set of ideas and expectations and seem to think that if people follow these rules and use these approaches to life, they will be happy and prosperous and not have any significant problems.
But I say that is wrong. Living a life of constant contentment and few to no difficulties is what happens in heaven or nirvana. It isn’t the real world. The real world is difficult. Every day, painful things happen. Some days, a few painful things happen, and some days, many painful things happen. And when we wake up in the morning, we don’t know what kind of day it will be. With the approaches you present, your clients will only be frustrated. They will think that they must be doing things wrong or not working hard enough to follow your teachings because even though they try your suggestions, life is still hard. I don’t think that is fair to a client.
It seems to me that the best path, the path to enlightenment, is to recognize and accept that every day painful things will happen. Our adult clients have been around for a while, and that means they have already gotten through many difficult problems. The problems they face today they can get through as well. Maybe they don’t know how they will get through them, but they can use approaches they have used before, ask for help from friends and family, or try new approaches. As long as they keep trying, they will get through.”
I am 46 years old as I write this. I was much younger when I heard that speech. I remember thinking, ‘Man, that guy must have had a tough life. I know I am going to have a good life. I’m going to work hard, play by the rules, save money, and do all the right things. I am going to have a good, successful life.’
46-year-old me now recognizes these were the thoughts of a much younger, less experienced me. I remember enjoying the presentation, but as it turns out, this statement by the Buddhist psychologist is the one I remember the best.
I am not a Buddhist. I consider myself a developmental organizational psychologist. My developmental approach isn’t the only way I look at concerns my clients bring to me, but it is usually the first frame through which I conceptualize what is going on.
You are tougher than you think
I don’t know much about Buddhism.
But at this point in my life, I think the Buddhist psychologist’s perspective is probably the most accurate.
You have lived through very difficult things.
Come what may, you will get through that too.
You are tough.
You are probably a lot tougher than you give yourself credit for.
You deserve to be proud of how much you have been through and how much you have done.
You are going to get through this.
David
David Nathan, MBA, PsyD, LP
I offer ADHD testing in St. Paul, MN. I would love to help you or a loved one if you are seeking an ADHD or ASD evaluation. For more information, please call me at (651) 337-3944 or fill out my contact form.
Disclaimer:
This site is for information only. It is not therapy. This blog is only for informational and educational purposes and should not be considered therapy or any form of treatment. We are not able to respond to specific questions or comments about personal situations, appropriate diagnosis or treatment, or otherwise provide any clinical opinions. If you think you need immediate assistance, call your local emergency number or the mental health crisis hotline listed in your local phone book. Use of this blog establishes your consent to the provisions of this disclaimer.
