Run, do not walk, to see Song Sung Blue

Image Credit: Focus Features

Over the weekend, I had the opportunity to see the film Song Sung Blue with a friend.  I am so glad I got to see it.

I didn’t know much about the movie before going; my friend suggested at and I looked at a one sentence description on Google; the story of a Neil Diamond cover band. It didn’t sound great, but didn’t sound awful.

This is an amazing story. I recommend it to anyone 13 years old or order looking for an inspiring experience.

At its most simplistic level, Song Sung Blue is a story about two single parents in the 1990’s in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, who each have a passion for musical performance, who meet each other, get married, and live their lives together. 

At a deeper level, this is a movie about resilience, the power of people to help others get through truly horrible events, and the capacity people have to bring each other joy and connection no matter how difficult life gets.

To discuss a lot of what happens in further detail would ruin the experience, and I do not want to do this.  I can say that the characters experience tremendous hardships in their lives.  After seeing the movie, I did some research; when the film opens, there is a statement saying the film is based on a true story.  I wondered how much of the movie is accurate.  It sounds like the movie is shockingly accurate.

The two main characters, Mike and Clair Sardina, are real people.  When the movie opens, Mike is a father of a teenaged daughter, a recovering alcoholic, and a retired marine who experienced incredible trauma in Vietnam.  Clair is struggling divorced single mother of two children who is doing everything she can to keep her family’s head above water.  Luckily, they meet each other, fall in love, and form an incredibly strong family.

Over the course of the movie, the main characters must deal with incredible and shocking problems.  But despite the random and intense nature of the difficulties that befall them, they deal with those problems face on, with kindness and compassion for each other, and by continuing to put one foot in front of the other.  Mike and Clair support each other, prioritize their responsibilities as parents and adults, and take care of themselves as much as possible through making time for their passion of making music for others in the evenings and weekends.

 The movie makes it clear that Mike and Clair (and their children) are not perfect people.  And their relationship isn’t idealized or perfect either. But I suspect the scenes in which they manage difficult situations could be used in couples counseling courses as examples of healthy and constructive ways to deal with problems in a relationship. 

Human beings can learn in three ways.  First, they can learn something because they figured something out on their own. Second, they can learn because someone specifically showed them how to do something.  Third, they can learn because they watch someone do something, and based on how successful (or not successful) the person is, the observer may decide to  approach the problem just the way the other person did or try something different in hopes of a different outcome.

That’s it.  Those are the only ways human beings can learn something.

Our media today tends to focus on horrible events without showing how people get through those events, and our entertainment tends to promote bad behavior.  People with personality disorders tend to be captivating characters.  With increased time being spent watching screens for entertainment, especially by school-aged Americans, it means we are seeing more and more examples of bad behavior and dark, hopeless seeming situations.  This can lead viewers to think that life is mostly difficult, if not miserable, that people in general are self-centered, uncaring about the needs of others, and that people tend to make bad decisions.  This isn’t true, but we see this message in our media repeatedly.  I worry about how these messages impacts us, and especially how these messages impact our young people

Song Sung Blue’s characters and story don’t resemble that nihilism or pessimism in the least.   Even when the characters experience crisis, and it would be easier for them to cut off contact with one another because sticking around means they will need to invest substantial time and energy supporting someone else, they refuse to leave.  This is an important message at a time when cutting off family and friends has become normalized.  Sometimes we absolutely do need to end relationships with dangerous and toxic individuals in our lives, including family members and previously close friends. But from my perspective as a psychologist with nearly 40 talk therapy clients a week, I am concerned that some people, especially young people, consider cutting others off far sooner and more easily than may be healthy.  Again, sometimes ending a relationship is absolutely the best option. And It is not a decision that should not be made lightly.

My friend and I are both members of Gen X. Most of the folks in the theater were Baby Boomers, which makes sense given this is a movie about a Neil Diamond cover band. But this movie takes place in the 90’s, and there are plenty of 90’s references that my friend and I caught and enjoyed (and discussed for over an hour after the movie was over) that I suspect went over the heads of most of the Baby Boomers in the audience. Neil Diamond music is just the wrapping paper. His music is fun and catchy, but this movie is something teenagers today could appreciate. Because of the shocking nature of some of the problems that befall the characters, I would say children under 13 should not attend. Nothing graphic is shown, but there are some sudden and substantial physical injuries that are very clearly implied, and they could be scary to younger children.

This is a heartwarming movie.  It recognizes that life is messy and that bad things can happen to good people.  There are wonderful things that happen to the characters as well. The characters are fundamentally positive and optimistic.  As a psychologist, I love how they are portrayed. There is an understanding in psychology that humans who experience a small to moderate amount of difficulties during their childhood and teen years are actually far more prepared for difficulties as adults than people who do not go through difficulties in their youth.  This movie shows this.  I also appreciated the way Song Sung Blue balances the awfulness that can happen in life with a deep grounded positivity and humility, which psychological research has shown to be a highly constructive way to deal with those problems.

Like Mike and Clair Sardina, we are all imperfect people. But may we all be able to deal with the difficulties of life as well as they do during the story covered in this film.  I don’t think a movie needs to be inspiring or have a great message to be a great. Case in point; I love (almost) all of the Fast and the Furious movies.  A movie can be great just because it is fun. Movies can be great because they tell a great and inspiring story well too. And Song Sung Blue is the second kind of movie.   It has a wonderful message, and I recommend it to anyone ages 13 years old and better.

David Nathan, MBA, PsyD, LP
I offer ADHD and ASD testing in St. Paul, MN. I would love to help you or a loved one if you are seeking an ADHD or ASD evaluation. For more information, please call me at (651) 337-3944 or fill out my contact form.

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