The Best ASD Social Skills Guide Ever
I’ve read many social skills guides and manuals for people on the Autism Spectrum. Most of them are not very helpful; recommendations such as “You should look someone in the eye when you talk to them!” and “When someone says ‘how are you?’ this is actually a way to indicate they would like to talk; it is not an actual question” are far too basic for most teens and adults on the Spectrum. People know these things. Many people who are not on the Autism Spectrum think (and have been told by society) that people who are on the Autism Spectrum do not understand interacting and are socially blind. I would argue that people on the Autism Spectrum tend to notice things about other people that people who are not on the Spectrum do not, and vice versa. What people on the Spectrum (and those around them who care about them) really need is a resource that explains how each group thinks, what they tend to notice, prioritize, and how they can talk to people on the other side of the Autism Spectrum line.
The Asperkid’s Secret Book of Social Rules, by Jennifer Cook, is that book. Nowhere have I seen another book or guide that does such a good job of explaining to both sides how the other thinks. Ms. Cook was diagnosed as being on the Autism Spectrum as an adult, after her children were diagnosed and she noticed she had many of the same difficulties as they did. A consummate writer, she had kept a journal since late childhood in which she recorded social interactions with her peers and recorded what went well and what didn’t. She recognized that she often didn't initially understand why some comments and behaviors were accepted by her peers, and others weren’t, but after years of observation, she was able to connect the dots. After her diagnosis, she compiled her notes into a book. She included some funny and some not-so-funny stories that taught her how to interact with people not on the Spectrum. The Asperkid’s Secret Book of Social Rules is mostly sweet, though sometimes a difficult read, and full of genuine supportive messages and an understanding of what it is like to feel like you are from another culture (if not another planet) compared to the people around you.
Don’t let the title fool you. This book is for teens and adults. I have recommended this book for years to clients ages 14+ on the Autism Spectrum, and I have no problem continuing to do so. If you or someone you know is on the Autism Spectrum and could use assistance learning to interact with others, The Asperkid’s Secret Guide to Social Rules is my first recommendation.
David Nathan, MBA, PsyD, LP
I offer ADHD and ASD testing in St. Paul, MN. I would love to help you or a loved one if you are seeking an ADHD or ASD evaluation. For more information, please call me at (651) 337-3944 or fill out my contact form.
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